You Don't Mess With The Zohan

Another Fri night, another dvd. Once again went for something light and against my better knowledge, went for an Adam Sandler pic. Words alone can not express the stinkiness.

"You Don't Mess With The Zohan" is a fictional story about Israeli assasin Zohan (Sandler) who longs to quit his demanding job and move to the US to become a hairdresser. To do so he fakes his death and boards a plane with a couple of dogs. Once he lands in the US he searches for his dream job, starting at the top salon but after being laughed off the premises, eventually settles for a dumpy small salon. When a hair stylist quits, Zohan gets his chance. He soon becomes renowned for giving great old lady haircuts, which include certain "favours". Things aren't all smooth though as Zohan must deal with racial issues, falling for a Palestinian and being recognised by some countymen.

Just an awful, awful movie. Besides the awful storyline and having more penil jokes than even Mike Myers would dream of, it semi-attempted to touch on the Middle Eastern situation. What was a truly terrible attempt at exposing this longtime conflict was described by Blockbuster's magazine as "a message that's handled remarkably deftly". Mmmm. One of the worst movies I've seen in recent memory. Some good cameos,including Chris Rock (with possibly the funniest line in the movie) and with Mariah Carey doing an ok job but Dave Matthews not so good, perhaps even worse than Fergie in "Posiedon".

My weekend

SATURDAY
Woke up feeling pretty flat, which was annoying. Had pancakes at home, then pottered for a bit. Took Isaac to "Jungle Music" in the afternoon, then came home and chilled for a bit. In the arvo headed to Cattani Gardens for Lisa's Birthday BBQ. That lifted my spirits. Supervised Isaac for a fair while, then got to chat to some of the gang. Got into a conversation with a guy called "Matt", who commented early that he used to ref me. Turns out he was a ref from the church basketball days and I remembered him once I worked out what he'd look like as a 15 year old. He was actually a really good ref and I let him know it as we reflected on the old days. He doesn't ref anymore, which is probably not a surprise considering as a dentist you don't need the $10/hour pay. Didn't eat much as felt a bit weird. This came to fruition later at night when i woke up several times choking and almost about to vomit. Good times.

SUNDAY
Got to church early for tech desk, then headed out for "Engage" which was painting a lovely ladies house. I'm not bad at painting, except for the hard bits. In the afternoon we went for a drive and a snack, then home for dinner. Watched "Australian Idol", which was ok, although i was crestfallen to discover Sophie had been eliminated. At night sat outside in the top weather and chatted with wifey, then went to bed.

What Happens In Vegas

Fri night wifey gave me the order to "get something funny" at Blockbuster. Now our ideas of "funny" differ, but I thought she might like this. It was hard to choose between something like this, which i didn't think would be funny but had famous people in it, or something that went "straight to dvd" with no famous people. I think the former will always win in my books.

"What Happens In Vegas" is about two people (Diaz and Kutcher) who have hit hard times and decide to blow off some steam in Vegas. They meet up, get wildly drunk and get married while out of it. In the morning they decide to go their own separate ways...until Jack (Kutcher) win $3 million on a slot machine with Joy's (Diaz) money. They take the matter to court and the wacky judge tells them they have to stay married for 6mths, see a counsellor and see what happens. Both then set out to do all they can to show they tried to make the marriage work but the other wasn't forthcoming, causing some hilarious premises eg trying to get each other to cheat on them. Who will win or will they form a beatiful relationship? See it to find out.

Some good scenes and cheap laughs, but it's no "Flying High". Kutcher got most of my laughs...actaully all of them. Not too bad for a rom com, seen plenty worse.

The Measure Of A Man

I've got a lot of favourite actors- Robert DeNiro, Al Pacino, Denzel Washington....but none of them are even my favourite actors. My favourite actor is Sidney Poitier (ok...that might be stretch as I don't think I've ever seen one of movies). Tara saw him on Oprah talking about this book and his striving to be a man of integrity and honour, recognised the similarities with me and decided to get me the book for Father's Day.

It's a good book and goes into his early days in the Bahamas to his move to New York, his early days as an actor right through to his twilight years. He talks a lot about the lessons learned and his motivations along his rise to one of Hollwood's favourite leading men. Challenging and thought provoking at times and well worth a read. Even though I don't think I've seen any of his movies, it gives a great insight into how he battled to get regular work in the early years and then the challenges and decisions he faced along the way as he was able to pick and choose.

Radelaide

Did another quick trip to Adelaide over the weekend, here's what we got up to.

FRIDAY
Left after work for Horsham. Delays included..........
-2 projectile vomits
-Getting dinner
-2 terrifying 20-something drivers. One who was really into her music and alternated between 80 and 120 for a large stretch, as well as some swerving. The other one was reaching for something and swerved over to the other side of the road. Yep, this drive is getting dangerous.

Got into Horsham about 9:30pm and the boys were very excited about the motel. Got to sleep around 10:30

SATURDAY
Left around 7am, grabbed some McD's for brekky and headed off. The boys were good, thanks largely to discovering you can put on cd's for Isaac and whack the fader on so it all goes to the rear speakers, meaning they were happy and Tara and I could chat. In Keith found a cool playground with one of those old carriage rides that goes on a metal track. Much entertainment for all.

Got into Adelaide just before 12. Had some lunch, then I headed off for the Fantasy Draft. Just me, Gary, Ash, Jimmy and Dimi, who I met for the first time. Good draft, if not very complicated with all the phone calls, MSN issues etc. I was pretty happy with my team, not overjoyed but content. It was damn hot in Darren's house, thanks largely to Jim's inability to operate the A/C. Played some NBA Live too which was good.

At night went back to the in-laws for some photo viewing of their trip to Europe, then went to bed.

SUNDAY
Was planning on going to church, but instead went for breakfast @ Evida's. After this went to Arndale to grab some pressies for the day, then went to Tompy's. Had a lovely lunch, watched some "Wiggles", then went to Mum's.

Caught up with the family, ate cakes and then fed the ducks.

At night had dinner with Tara's folks, looked at more slides, then hit the sack.

MONDAY
Hung around the house in the morning, mostly eating, chatting and reading. Finished my Sidney Poitter book which was good. In the arvo dropped over to dad's, then made the trip back. Pretty cruisey drive, then crashed in Kaniva for the night (the same place I wrote about here ). Tara loved it, except for the very low pressure shower, spiders and bedding. The boys loved it though and were extremely hyped and chased each other around for ages, probably the best they've ever played together which was nice.

A good trip...and we get to do it all again in 2mths time.

PRISON BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I get the paper yesterday and notice in the tv guide that "Prison Break" was on at 10:30. Hmm, great promotion Channel 7. Didn't hear a thing and wasn't expecting it as the last season ended not so long ago and i didn't think we'd see this until next year. So I jumped online and discovered this was ep 2, so had to go and read during the ads what happened in ep 1 because I was completely lost. T-Bag was wandering the desert, Sucre and Mahone were hanging with Michael and Linc and Sarah was alive (yep, I guessed it). Looked for a while but only came across an extremely in-depth analysis of ep 1, which took me several ad breaks to get through. It was a tad too comprehensive, but had some great lines in there eg

They meet in an alley. Whistler shows Michael the card and says in order to read it they need to break into a "secure structure." Michael deduces that they need his mad skillz. Whistler says his bird book had info that would have aided the break-in, but they can do without it. Michael's all, "You can do without it. Just shut up and tell me about my non-beheaded girlfriend."

Anyway it's same ol', same ol' for this show, except for the nice additions of some cannibalism (yes, T-Bag was involved) and Michael Rappaport. This guy was going to be anything after his amazing performance as Remy in "Higher Learning" (the one that said "unlearn" at the end of it. Mmmm. Powerful). Sadly he made some bad choices after this ie generally starring as Eddie Murphy's sidekick in a semi-serious drama won't get you an academy award, or cred. I don't know if I can handle more of the same crazy twists and turns, especially at 10:30 on a Thursday. We'll see. Last night, for example, thye had to break into a crazily secured house to get some code and they managed to do it, but when they got it to the computer guy (who was terrible as the "oh no, I don't believe this" hacker) he discovered it was just part of a code and they needed 5 more! Yeh.

Saturday

Started the day bright and early with 9 holes of golf with Duiker and Wei, a chinese guy who asked to join us. Good weather, good company. Sadly, my golf stunk. Pretty much 2 shots that travelled less then 30cm each hole. That hurts. The highlight was when we were commenting on how ridiculously high the new nets were protecting stray balls from the Eastlink, then Andrew proceeded to hit one onto the road.

Came home and then took the family to "McCafe". Isaac wasn't heaps into it, so it was a short stay. Went for a bit of a drive and noticed many houses for sale. If this many houses keep going for sale around is, it might be a bit like "The Stand" around here (Darren, you're probably the only person who reads this who'll get that reference).

In the arvo (after yet another nanna nap) headed to the Malone's for baby Ruby's birthday/dedication. Good afternoon, good people, good conversation. Had a fascinating chat about the future of commercial tv. The lowlight was when I mentioned the product placement in Wayne's World...and no-one knew what I was talking about. Here's the clip for anyone who hasn't seen it.



After that came home and pottered, ate, then went for a walk. Listened to the Simmons podcast while walking on "Fantasy basketball". Strangely, it was mostly about football and baseball, with the last 10mins on the new ESPN fantasy league which 8 lucky people from the public can join. Annoying. For the record, Matthew Berry is not enthralling. After the walk watched some "Chaser", then went to bed.

Birthday times

Celebrated the big 3-2 today, a way better age than 31. After some research, discovered some fellow 32yr olds.

Jaleel White (Urkell)
Emma Bunton (Baby Spice)
Candace Cameron (DJ)
Tim Duncan (Robot looking basketballer)
Soleil Moon Frye (Punky Brewster)
Kevin Garnett (skinny basketballer)
Jeremy Miller (Ben from "Growing Pains")
Fred Savage (Hollywood superstar)
Reese Witherspoon (fine actress from "Legally Blonde")

Pretty impressive bunch.

Started the day with breakfast and paper in bed. Late morning headed to Eastland to get me some presents- a personal grooming kit and a dvd about guys travelling in a tinnie along the Murray. Maybe beter presents for a 52 yr old but, hey, it's my birthday.

Had a nap in the arvo, then went outside and did some gardening with Isaac. At night the lovely Alexa and James minded the boys while wifey and I went out for some Chinese. Pretty good food. Top birthday.

FOOTNOTE
I'm not one of the only famous people born on Oct 5, and being honest they've all had more successful lives than me, except maybe the last one.

Grant Hill (my favourite hoopster)
Kate Winslet (popular modern actress)
Guy Pearce (Mike in "Neighbours")
Bernie Mac (late comedian)
Bob Geldof (fed a few million Africans)
Ray Kroc (founder of McDonalds. Bless that man)
Nikki Hilton (her parents are rich)

Wii

Last night at Johnny and Michelle's I got my first taste of "Wii". I had been looking forward to it for a while and was not let down. Here's my thoughts on the games we played.

TENNIS
Really good. Serving is hell fun and it responds well to drop shots, lobs, slices etc. The best game on the sports pack by far.

BASEBALL
Pretty good too. Pitching more enjoyable, but batting good also.

BOXING
Damn hard work. I built up a huge heart rate and went so hard I think i pulled a muscle in my arm. Enjoyable but more hard work than fun. I beat Johnny, which was rewarding as I think the result would be different if we went into a real boxing ring.

BOWLING
Not as fun, about as hard as doing it for real, and not as rewarding.

GOLF
Really good, the putting takes a while to get use to but good fun.


Could this be my next folly? Unsure if I'll go this route or look into some online basketball via PS3 with my peeps back in Adelaide.

Can you trust "Interaction"?

While at Blockbuster I grabbed a free copy of "Interaction", a guide/review of all the latest movies. The cynic in me would question the integrity of a video store producing a magazine reviewing movies that are currently being hired by them in the interests of making money (ie if Coles put out a magazine reviewing their deli range), but I'll let you read some excerpts and you make your own call.

On "Welcome Home Roscoe Jennings"
"Bad Boys almuni Will Smith and Martin Lawrence may have taken quite different career trajectories, but both have ended up making good, solid movies. Just because Lawrence's flicks haven't had the high profiles of, say, Hancock or I Am legend doesn't make his work any less worthy. Case in point, the sensational, gut-busting Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins........."

My comment: Yeh, when I think "Big Momma's House", "Life" and "Wild Hogs", I think solid. I'm betting it's not that "gut-busting". Also note the spelling mistakes and missing punctuation, and that's me saying that.

On "Reign Over Me"
"Liv has grown up enough to be thoroughly convincing as therapist to Adam Sandler..."

My comment: Yeh, that was right up there with Denise Richards as a scientist, Drew Barrymore as a financial guru and Russell Crowe as a genius mathematician.

On "Over Her Dead Body"

"Eva Longoria headlines this zany comedy which is kind of a mishmash of Hello Again (remember that one? Shelley Long came back from the dead to haunt her unfaithful husband).

My comment: 1)No one born after 1976 knows who Shelley Long is 2) If you have to prompt people to remember a movie by going into detail, fair chance they have never heard of it

So I guess the jury is out on "Interaction". For the record, every single movie had a glowing review, including all the "straight to dvd" ones. Tell me your thoughts.

The Daarjeeling Limited

Fri night wifey and I got out "The Daarjeeling Limited". Here's my IMDB.com review.

Had been bypassing this for a while at the video store as it looked a bit wussy, plus Owen Wilson as a lead character doesn't generally lead to a great movie. But with the tripe on offer lately, decided it was worth a go.

"The Daarjeeling Limited" is a the story of 3 brothers who are brought together by the eldest brother Francis (Wilson) to unknowingly go and see their mother and try to bond again after a year or so of not seeing each other after their father's death. Their meeting place is "The Daarjeeling Limited", a train that travels around India. The aim is to see some places and go on a spiritual journey. Things don't go to Francis's plan though and after they get kicked off the train for bringing a deadly snake onboard, they are dropped off in a very remote location and forced to find another way to their destination. Their lives are turned upside down not long after when they come across three young boys who are drowning in a raging river. I won't share what happens, but the scenario has a deep impact on all.

Solid, but not sure why. None of the characters were particularly likeable and the story dragged at times. I guess the appeal lied within the symbolism and the different scenery and culture. Some good moments, but a tad few and far between for my liking and Wilson and Brody weren't given enough opportunity to display some of his talents.

Not bad, but won't be in my dvd collection anytime soon. Pleasant enough and more food for thought than in most of the rubbish at "Blockbuster".

My 100th post

So this is my 100th post. I will use it to explain some random events of my Thursday evening.

LIGHT FM
Got a text around 7:30ish that my mate Matty's song was on a face-ff on Light FM. I did the right thing and tuned in, then sent an sms and voted for him. About 30sec later my phone rang and it was LightFM asking if they could record an interview asking why I voted. I figured why not. I think I came across very well and the offers should start rolling in soon.

THE OFFICE
My buddy Darren has been asking me to give this a go for about 18mths now. With 4 episodes on back-to-back and the wife out of the house, I guess this was my best chance. Actually enjoyed it. It certainly has taken off on a different angle and some of the more random stuff is great eg when Michael shares how he puts on a George Foreman grill in his room before he goes to bed so he can wake up to the smell of cooked bacon or when he talks about getting in trouble for using the company credit card at a magic shop.

ICE-CREAM
Treated myself with a bowl of ice-cream, topped off with "Ice Wonder" (that would be Aldi's version of "Ice Magic"). That is one of my all-time favourite rip-off names ever. Actually one of the best parts of shopping at ALDI is seeing the rip-off names they come up with. I'd like to see them take it up a notch though. Here's some possible ither names for an Ice Magic equiv

Ice Amazing
Ice Far Out
Ice Tricky
Ice Wow